Gutless, gutless, gutless

Over here, some Democrat hack/policy wonk named Chris Bowers compiles a list of all the reasons why Democrats should not and will not try to impeach that idiot some of you have been erroneously referring to as 'President' for the last six years.

It's an impressive list, one that reeks of reasonableness, of 'reality', of compromise, of political expedience, of being cautious and preserving political capital and thinking long term and carefully mapping out the '08 campaign season and all that other colonic end product the Dems sob like pussies over whenever they somehow stumble, spasm, and/or drunkenly flail their way into a position to actually do anything that might make a significant difference as to how our country is governed.

::DEEP breath::

Not to mention, that could possibly impact whether or not various American and non-American human beings continue to live through the next twelve months, and what kind of conditions they'll be living in and under if they get that lucky.

I cannot tell you how sick I am of this crybaby crap. "Oh, now that we're in a position where we can actually do something, we can't, we mustn't, we shan't REALLY do anything, because then, you know, we might not get re-elected and we'd have to find real jobs."

Why is it that the only politicians in America who have the balls to get into office and actively and effectively pursue an agenda are, you know, evil?

I know, I know. The Democratic majority is razor thin, and the Republicans can and will be obstructive, and any kind of forward motion on a Democratic/liberal/progressive agenda will take very careful management, and Jesus Christ I am tired of hearing this teenie-weenie L'il Rascals otay 'panky bullshit. The Republicans had a razor thin majority for ten years, and they have very nearly destroyed the entire planet, and gotten rich while doing it. Why can't the Democrats be similarly aggressive about their own agenda?

Honestly, someone explain it to me. I really don't understand it.

Here's my list of just some of the reasons why those evil bastards Bush and Cheney SHOULD both be impeached --

* They aren't really President and Vice President of the United States of America. They were never actually elected; they committed the most brazen election fraud ever seen on a national scale in our country's history, they have no right to those titles or those offices.

* There are 600,000 dead people in Iraq right now who would be alive if Bush and Cheney hadn't decided to go break their country.

* They're spying on American citizens in explicit defiance of the law. They don't even deny it.

* They are holding American citizens for years without trial or even indictment, on no authority other than Presidential whim.

* They are torturing prisoners of war. They think it's fun.

* They have committed nearly innumerable counts of systematic fraud to enrich their corporate sponsors in shameful ways, mostly off mountains of bodies, of those both dead and living on in utter misery, here in America (see: New Orleans and Hurricane Katrina) and abroad (see, again, Iraq).

That last point could be broken down into literally hundreds of sub-points; I just don't want to go out and actually compile a list of all the ways the Bush Administration has illegally funneled billions if not trillions of tax dollars into the private pockets of its corporate favorites over the last six years.

For that matter, the second point could be broken down into 600,000 plus bullet points, if I just knew the names of every single person who has died unnecessarily due to our illegal and immoral invasion and continuing occupation of Iraq. And the third and fourth points could have a great many victims' names attached to them, too, if we had the power to compile that kind of comprehensive list.

Against all of this, the learned Mr. Bowers weighs things like "the national image of the two parties", "keep(ing) our caucus close to united", and the fact that he is "not in the mood to blow all of our political capital" on, you know, something as trivial as actually doing the right thing.

Unprofessional though it may well be, the only word that springs to my mind when I read this kind of goddam gutless sobbing and cringing and hand wringing on the part of someone whose party just won a huge national election they were overwhelmingly predicted to lose is, well, "asshole".

If Democrats are going to act like craven pissy assed losers even when they finally manage to win, what's the point in electing them in the first place? I mean, I know why they're in it... the job pays pretty well and you don't have to work very much or very hard. But if this is how they're going to act after we vote them in, why do we even bother?

Do I have any positive, realistic, politically expedient advice to offer to these quivering masses of spineless humanoid gelatin? Yeah. Bush's popularity is in the low thirties. The Republican Party in general is foundering under a dinosaur killing meteor strike of multiple financial, ethical, moral, and sexual scandals. That shit didn't just spring into existence to get the Dems into office, and it hasn't gone away.

Go after Bush. Nobody likes him anyway, it's the right thing to do, and guess what? A majority of the American people are desperately hoping to see their elected officials actually do what's right for once, instead of what's merely expedient.

Will the Republicans unite to defend Bush from impeachment? Maybe, but they're horribly vulnerable right now. There's a mountain of shit to sling; the minute any of them open their mouths, start slinging it. No matter what they say, here's what the Dems say back: Mark Foley. Katrina. Tom DeLay. Jack Abrahamoff. Would you like a page boy with that, Congressman? No? A gay hooker? Some meth? How about a nice fat campaign contribution from an Indian tribe trying to build a casino? How's your stock market portfolio, Senator Frist?

When Rush Limbaugh comes after you, go on his show. Take his calls. Whatever he says, whatever he asks you, you say "Percoset. Viagra. How was the Dominican Republic, Rush? Say, how's Mrs. Limbaugh? Which one? I'm not sure, how many have there been? Lately, I mean." When O'Relly comes after you, bring up loofahs, and ask if he's still sexually harassing his married associate producers. Play hardball. I mean, Jesus Christ, they do. Hammer them and hammer them and hammer them until they're as scared to open their mouths and take any kind of real position at all as...

...well, as all you goddam Democrats are, actually.

Honest to God. You want to see every registered black voter in America for the next two generations vote Democrat? Stand up on live TV and impeach Bush using the words "depraved indifference to human life" while showing video of him playing his guitar at the exact same moment as people were drowning in New Orleans. That will do it. It's easy.

Seriously, why is this stuff hard? Why do Democrats continually let Bush and the Republicans walk away from things like the debacle in Iraq, the catastrophic cluster fuck that was Katrina, and, while we're at it, the goddam 9/11 attacks? Why does it take a gay page boy scandal to put the opposition party back in power, when the people who have been in power for years previous have monumentally fucked up every single thing they have managed to get their hands in, and gotten rich off doing it, and everybody knows it, too?

We have just handed you people the keys to the country. Stop fucking sniveling and do the right thing. And the absolute top priority on that list is, get that murderous bastard the fuck out of the Oval Office.

And then, second, get our troops the hell out of Iraq. Well, not second, both are equally important. There are a few hundred of you in Congress; you can manage to do two things at once, right?

These things are the right things to do. They also happen to be things that the American people who elected you want you to do. It's a win-win.

Not that any of you are smart enough to actually see that.