Populist politics

For a very long time, like I suspect many others, I've fantasized about starting up my own alternative political party. It's an interesting intellectual exercise to me to try to craft a platform for such a party that transcends enough traditional philosophical lines to draw support from all points on the political spectrum.

So far, here's what I've got:

* Hire people to answer the phones (no electronic switchboards)

* No pop music in commercials

* Federal Yes You May Call Me List

* Eliminate lower postage rates for junk mail

* Eliminate spam

* Raise military salaries, improve military housing, fully equip combat troops

* Strictly regulate commercial time/content time on public airwaves (no more than 6 minutes of commercials per hour, 1.5 / 13.5 minutes)

* Eliminate commercial political ads – media may donate ad time, however, they must give equal time to all candidates

* Eliminate exorbitant processing fees – ATM fees, document fees, copying fees, handling fees

* Strengthen the Freedom of Information Act; declassify as many government documents as possible, give citizens access to any government document with their name or Social Security number on it regardless of classification (Right To Your Private Information Act)

* Eliminate political contribution tax break, tax PACs

* Close corporate tax loop holes -- offshore expenses, executive pensions, executive benefits - strictly regulate corporate accounts with overseas banks

* Regulate lay offs -- before companies can cut costs by laying off workers, management must make equal cuts to management salaries and benefits first

* Repeal tax breaks for the rich

* Repeal bankruptcy bill, regulate credit card interest

* Re-regulate the energy industry

* Pass strict privacy protection regulations/repeal PATRIOT Act

* Rebuild the national rail system, build light rail systems

* Rebuild the national canal system

* Comprehensive health care for all

* Comprehensive Federal pension plan for all

* Federal job placement system

* Protect remaining wilderness areas

* Expanded Federal college grant program

* Increase Federal MPG, CAFE standards

* Increase funding for education, public libraries

* “Apollo program” to develop practical alternate energy sources, regardless of commercial applications


It's been fascinating for me to watch myself as I build this list. For example, I think it's very important to provide people with incentives to become less petroleum dependent; one way to try to do that is an increased gasoline tax. I badly want to add that to my platform, but I'm not stupid; no candidate who runs on "I'll make you pay more at the pump" could possibly get elected.

Similarly, I want to add something about how my political party will actually enforce the Constitution, including the 14th Amendment, Section 1, which states "Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

But if I do that, then some smart ass Republican out there will figure out I intend to give 1/10 of the population the same access to marriage laws as the other 9/10s have always enjoyed, and start screaming "Gay marriage!" at me, and my alternative political party will take a drubbing at the polls.

This is, essentially, democracy in action. We get the government we deserve, which is frightening and embarrassing and humiliating to all of us in about equal amounts. But still -- a majority of people want to continue to deny a minority of their fellow citizens the same rights that majority has always enjoyed, in defiance of the law of the land, simply because that's the way it's always been. There's no reason for it; it's just straight up hateful bigotry -- but a majority of people seem to be hateful bigots, so, that's the government we get.

Similarly, probably a majority of Americans, if drunk, high, or off the record, would admit that we are too dependent on petroleum and our nation and our culture badly, badly needs to wean itself off the oil tit. We know it would be much better for us, as individuals and as a society, to drive less, and to walk and take mass transportation more. We know we would be healthier on every level if we encouraged our government to build up our mass transportation infrastructure and to make it more easily accessible to everyone.

We know that, but we don't care. We're fat, and we're lazy, and it's more convenient and comfortable to have a car-shaped hole in the driveway to shovel money into, so we can head out to Wal-mart or the park or the movies whenever we feel like it without having to trouble our microscopic attention spans with difficult intellectual tasks like reconciling a bus schedule with a grid of movie theater show times. Mass transportation? Fine idea for all those other losers; if they'd just get on the damn bus it would cut down on gridlock! But we aren't going to do it.

So, we're fat and we're lazy and we're selfish, and we won't vote for things that we know would be good for us, and down the road, for our kids, because we would find those requirements to be inconvenient to comply with. So we end up with fat, lazy, selfish government, and we bitch about it, and we bitch about the profiteering oil companies who are picking our pockets, but the only tactic we have that would actually work with them -- boycotting their goddam product -- is something we won't even consider.

Say, this setting up a viable third party political party is depressing work. Maybe I should just join the half of the population that doesn't vote. That sounds like it's a great deal more fun.