Take the box!

The Democrats cannot 'cut and run' in Iraq. Someone, probably James Carvelle, is telling them right now, "If you force Dubya to withdraw our troops from Iraq, they will tattoo that on our foreheads in 2008". And they believe him. And that's all they care about. Morality is just a word they campaign with.

Here's a suggestion I have for what to do with the Iraq mess -- pull the troops out. (Duh.) Spend, say, a trillion dollars setting up air transport from Iraq to the U.S. Any Iraqi national who wants to can come to America. We'll give them a green card, find them a place to live, help them find work, give them a grant to set up their own business.

Or, if they want to stay there, we have this little package for them. Kind of an 'Iraqi survivor kit. A generator, a year's worth of MREs, a couple of M16 A1s and a few thousand rounds of ammunition, a Kevlar helmet and vest. Some water purification tablets. A good pair of boots. A box of Hershey bars. A signed apology from Dubya for, you know, breaking their fucking country.

James Dobson will insist we throw in a Bible; that's fine, the apology will only be good for one bowel movement, anyway.

All of that, and a slightly shot up Humvee for them to haul the loot home in. (Hey, it's not like we'll be using them any more.)

In exchange, we get them to sign one of those releases that Lucy used to circulate in the PEANUTS strip absolving us of all blame. Everybody goes home happy.

Of course, then the goddam Negroes and the friggin' Injuns will be all like "Well, where's OUR Hollywood movie check?" but, you know, scroom. They, at the very least, have frickin' electricity. They should count their blessings. And vote Democrat, dammit.