Friday, January 26, 2007

O Danny boy, the pipes the pipes are calling...

Dan Riehl, Dan Riehl. If you don't know who he is, well, here's a sample:

And as for Hagel, I hope he gets run over by the same bus I suggested might take the rest of the peaceniks out, if we're lucky. If there were any justice, he'd be pulled out of Congress and horse whipped on the DC mall. Voting for a war and then voting against reinforcements, even as only a matter of misguided principle, is one of the most pathetic acts I've ever seen the un-American elected filth in DC undertake.

Hagel needs to be opposed and beaten in the primary if he ever runs again.

A slavering desire to see people he doesn't agree with killed... no, that's not enough, so, tortured... in public, expressed in some of the most uncivil, openly insulting and badly written invective imaginable... check! So that's Dan Riehl... yet another wingnut. Not bright, can't write, but boy, he can sure fantasize up some nasty shit happening to people he dislikes with style and gusto, you betcha.

But personally, I think he can do better. After all, in the passage above, he's only talking about a fellow Republican, one of his own elected officials, a United States Senator from one of those great Midwestern red states whose populace represents the heart and soul of our traditional American values, a guy who, among other things, lists on his personal biography:

Hagel served in Vietnam with his brother Tom in 1968. They served side by side as infantry squad leaders with the U.S. Army’s 9th Infantry Division. Hagel earned many military decorations and honors, including two Purple Hearts.

Dan Riehl's brief bio page at his own blog tells us the following about him:

I've always written. My published writing career began with journalism in college. I went on to edit my college newspaper. After a short time as a freelance writer and employee of a mid-sized weekly newspaper, I went on to apply my writing skills in business through employment as a marketing and sales manager for a Fortune 100 corporation.

Today I'm a marketing and sales director for an established technology company and also maintain Riehlworldview.

Along with writing on politics and topical news, I follow and report on significant crime stories with the assistance of a growing community of readers and posters who read and post regularly on my weblog.

And, Dan's interests are:

For activities I enjoy Golf and sport fishing. Other interests include History, politics, and good movies. Favorite book is "One Hundred Years of Solitude" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, movie - "There's Something About Mary" by the Farrelly Bros. In music I like variety from old top forty to Tom Waits, the Allman Bros. Band right through to Sinatra. My favorite quote is from Whitman, "I am large. I contain multitudes. I contradict myself." I believe that's true of all of us.

He doesn't mention how quickly he starts to hyperventilate at the thought of 'peaceniks' being plowed under by public transportation run amok, or an elected member of his government being flogged in public, but I guess in this case, those who know, know.

All this is pretty fabulous stuff; Dan's a private citizen whose greatest claim to fame is that he has a weblog and works as marketing and sales manager for a Fortune 100 company. But this is America, and in America, no matter how big a dipshit you are, you can still go out and publicly advocate the deaths by mayhem and/or public torture of U.S. Senators who won combat medals in Vietnam and not even feel the tiniest bit of shame for it. Well, that's what makes America great, yes, it is. But Dan, I think you're holding out on us. As mind-bogglingly stupid and utterly demented as your behavior has been to date, I really think you can go that extra yard for us if you try.

No? You don't think so? Okay, let's try this. Go find a very well known, very popular libertarian blog where someone has just posted their view regarding your views on Jim Webb's views as regards Our Fearless Leaders views (whew!) which he just expressed in this year's SOTU, and see if you can't find some way to say something even more completely retarded than the stuff we've seen you say already.

You really can't? Aw, Dan. You're just being shy. You know you can do it. Go ahead, there's the comment thread... c'mon, c'mon, look what they're saying to you:

P.S. Dan — Webb has a son on active duty in Iraq. I hope you get the chance someday to advise the junior Senator from VA — who is a pugilist and decorated Marine — to his face that his speech was naughty, given that his son is among those in harm’s way.

You're not going to take that, are you, Dan? You're not going to sit there on the bench while goddam no good peacenik hippie liberal traitor motherfuc....

Oh, good, you're typing. Let's see what you have to say:


Comment by Dan Riehl —
January 24, 2007 @ 9:25 am

I wouldn’t say it was “naughty,” just relatively treasonous and cowardly. But what else to expect from a nut who melted down as Naval Sec after ten months? Not much, obviously.


Oh my GOD! Oh my GOD, Dan, that's some beautiful, beautiful shit! That's pure wingnut gold! Did you actually type the phrase 'relatively treasonous' with a straight face? I mean, Dan, Dan, what does that mean? 'Relatively treasonous'? Relative to what? You mean that disagreeing with the Chief Executive about his batshit insane 'surge' plan in public is the act of a traitor, compared to, what, publicly calling for U.S. Senators to be horsewhipped in public because you don't like them? Honestly, Dan, I at least am all ears. Please advise me as to your Theory of Relativity in Context With Treasonous Speeches By U.S. Senators. In detail. I'm rapt, honestly.

And then, you make it even better by adding 'cowardly'! You, the sales and marketing manager for a Fortune 100 company, are calling a decorated ex Marine combat veteran 'cowardly'! Bravely hammering your keyboard with those flexible fingers that so lovingly caress golf balls and tie fishing flies, you pause to ask someone in the next room if they could turn the air conditioning up just a smidge and maybe bring you a Diet Coke, before returning once again to your savagely courageous onslaught on speeches that annoy you.

With pearl-like turds such as this dropping so easily from your lips, Dan, it's not hard to believe you spend hours and hours each day with your tongue buried deeply in Administration ass.

And then there's that thing about how Jim Webb is 'a nut who melted down as Naval Sec after ten months'? Well, Dan, that's certainly a point of view, and a man like you, someone who has always written, who enjoys golf and sports fishing, a marketing and sales director who follows and reports on significant crime stories with the assistance of a growing community of readers and posters who read and post regularly on his weblog*, well, you'd certainly be the guy I'd turn to for incisive, informed commentary as regards the job performance of a decorated ex-combat Marine, former Secretary of the Navy, and current U.S. Senator.

O Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calllllling... but honestly, I think you should dump the crack out of them, throw them in the trash, and go get yourself a real fucking job, buddy.

*My brain just punched its way out of the back of my skull and ran shrieking up the street to the Dundee Tavern to get drunk, which I can't blame it for, having forced it to not only read that sentence but to actually re-type it. If I don't post for the rest of the day, it's because I'm up at the Dundee trying to coax my brain back into my skull with pretzels and promises that I will never, never, never re-type any Dan Riehl authored sentences again.


At 11:39 AM, Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

Isn't "relatively treasonous" like "a little bit pregnant" or "partially destroyed?"

At 7:04 AM, Blogger Highlander said...

Yeah. On some level, Riehl's mind must have been aware that to openly and nakedly accuse a newly elected U.S. Senator of treason, without, you know, any actual evidence to support such a charge, would be crossing some nebulous line... not of ethics or morals, because, clearly, he has none of those, but, maybe, some legal line that might actually open him up to some kind of libel suit.

I doubt he was consciously aware of such considerations, but, again, somewhere deep inside the murk and muck that passes for his intellect, deep in the depths of his decentralized, sluglike nervous system, a spastic shudder of caution pulsated, and caused him to realize on a doubtless preconscious level that he needed to qualify that charge if he were going to make it in public.

And, given that he's a spectacularly crappy writer, well, the end result of that craven, spineless instinct was the reflexive attachment of the phrase 'relatively' to his topic phrase.

And, yeah... 'relatively treasonous' makes every bit as much sense as the other two nonsense phrases you mention, or many, many others, like, you know, 'military intelligence'.

But Riehl doesn't notice these things. His instinct for the language could be measured on a micrometer.

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