Sunday, February 03, 2008

The center does not hold

Romney quits. Big money Republicans must be tearing their hair out right now, and Rush Limbaugh must be thinking about putting a gun in his mouth. I mean, seriously. All these powerful, elite people who are used to writing a few checks to various PACs and bundlers and 527s to express their will as regards the results of any significant election... will now have to cozy up to the one Republican they hate the most, because he's the one Republican who helped author the only substantial campaign finance reform legislation to become law since 1974. (It's crappy law, mind you, that doesn't really accomplish anything worthwhile or have any real effect, but, still, it's the principle of the thing. McCain did something to slightly inconvenience the wealthy players in our political apparatus, and they have never, ever forgiven him for it.)

And now they have to dance with the rat bastard. Ah, karma is sweet, sometimes.

That shitheap Limbaugh is an especially humiliating position. He's done everything except lead a lynch mob armed with pots of boiling tar and bags of feathers against Big John, and now he's going to have to climb on board the Straight Talk Express, too.

At this point, the only real alternatives these people have are Huckabee and Paul. I suppose they could decide to pour a lot of money into either of those campaigns, and maybe it would make a difference... but Huckabee seems to be what Bush only claimed to be, a genuinely compassionate conservative Christian who, for all his backwoods provincial ignorance, genuinely wants to see tax dollars spent to help the poor. I can only imagine how wealthy, powerful conservatives must shudder at that concept.

As for Ron Paul, well, to the wealthy conservative elite he's a fucking lunatic, straight up; the only guy running on the Republican ticket who has said right out loud that the minute after he finishes taking the Oath of Office, all our troops stationed in foreign lands are on the first plane home, and American foreign investments can look after themselves. You can't imagine anyone with a few million or billion bucks tied up in Middle Eastern redevelopment, or petroleum stocks, being happy about that prospect, either.

So it's McCain's way or the highway for all these pricks.

I have no doubt they'll all come around to embracing the new reality pretty goddam quickly; if there is one thing conservatives and Republicans both excel at, it is turning every single thing they claim to believe in 180 degrees the minute it suits them to do so. And Limbaugh can rely on his particular market share to honestly forget he ever said a word against McCain the instant he starts praising the guy instead. After all, every single Dittohead in the world seems to have had no trouble accepting the... hrm... unusual, shall we say... premise that every junkie in the world should be locked up forever or simply executed, just like Rush says... except, of course, for Rush himself, whose little excursion into oxycontin addiction was a completely forgivable, and apparently entirely forgettable, mistake.

I'm going to predict that within one week's time, every conservative pundit that has been bewailing McCain's campaign as 'the death of the Republican party' or some such horseshit (Ann Coulter actually went on TV and said if McCain is the Republican nominee, she will campaign for Hillary Clinton!) will be fully on board, and all we'll be hearing rolling out of Rush, or Michael Savage, or Ann Coulter, or Michelle Malkin, or any of those retards, will be "McCain, glorious McCain, war veteran McCain, patriot McCain, straight talking McCain, McCain, the Great Man Who Will Lead America Back To Greatness!"

And I will laugh, and laugh, and laugh.

And hope they all burst a few blood vessels every time they do it, too.


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